Writing. Yes, i'm going to rant about writing. It's going to be a bit of a book, so sit your ass down and grab something to eat while you're busy scrolling through this going 'ohgod whyisthissolong D:' or suffer being summarily laughed at.
Now that my self-righteous intro of sorts is down, I'll begin.
----
Also, I'm not god. This is just my opinion speaking; what irks me--and those close to me--the most. I'm not speaking of works that do these things on purpose, and I'm not saying that I'm the authority on writing. I'm also not going to blame young people for not being good writers, that's not the point of this.
----
The first section is, this one. No name, just straight up ranting. Got it? Good. Now that you've understood that and I've delayed long enough to think of a topic to start with. Yes, I know that I'm going to sound like a rabid English teacher, but hear me out. I'm strutting about DA, with my spirits high, and click the literature section. I find something I think I might like, then click it, too lazy to read through the little scrolling preview that takes too long to move.
I find something along the lines of this:
"Everyone sat still. No one had expected Charlie to explode like that. Charlie was always good at bottling in his anger but this time the bottle shattered under the pressure. Da Kurlzz was the most surprised. Charlie was his love and joy and to see him that angry was mind blowing."
The first thing wrong with this, apologizing for any sort of offence I may inflict on any writers who are guilty of this, but HOLYRUNONSENTENCE! There is NO pauses in this besides periods. Read this out loud to yourself, the whole thing, without adding in any pauses aside from the periods.
...
See what I mean? It's just bothersome. When I read this, there's a little Morgan Freeman saying it like he's on twelve energy drinks, and speed, without taking a break. Now, in speech, it's fine if someone is ACTUALLY saying it as if there were no punctuation, but in the narrative, unless your narrator is a character of sorts telling the story in a panicked or hyper manner, this just isn't pretty. It makes it look like you're a mutant who never breathes in, or a robot. Now, personal preference aside, pacing is important. A reader can't get into a story if it's running a mile a minute in their heads, at least most of them.
You know the difference between "Buy, minions! Buy!" and "Buy minions! Buy!"?
Of course you do. ...Oh, wait, you want to know anyway? Well... fine.
"Buy minions!" = "You! Buy some minions for me!"
That so hard to figure out?
Now not only is pacing important to let people know subject and proper direction of the sentence, it's also needed just for BREATHING. You need to write as if it's going to be read out loud, not as if it's a movie unfolding in front of you, with breathing set in by itself with no magic punctuation marks to SHOW you that they're pausing for a moment.